New First Light research reveals widespread abuse on dating apps, and why it is often missed, normalised or unsupported
“You start to expect it, the messages, the pressure, the pictures you didn’t ask for. It just feels like part of using dating apps.”
Online dating is part of everyday life for many people. Dating apps can offer connection, choice and opportunity.
But new research from First Light shows that they can also be places where abuse happens, often repeatedly, and often without support.
Our research, Abuse from Online Dating: The Invisible Issue, shows that abuse linked to dating apps is common, normalised and under‑reported. Many people who took part were unsure whether what they experienced counted as abuse, or where they could go for help.
This work is part of First Light’s wider focus on Digital Non‑Contact Abuse, abuse that happens in online and digital spaces, even when there is no physical contact.
About the research
This study brings together lived experience and professional insight to understand abuse linked to online dating.
- 131 people who use dating apps shared their experiences
- 32 professionals shared insights from services including domestic abuse, sexual violence, policing, safeguarding, youth work, health and criminal justice
Together, these voices show how abuse that starts online is often minimised, misunderstood or not recorded, even though it has real and lasting effects.
When abuse starts to feel ‘normal’
Many people described harmful behaviour as something they had come to expect when using dating apps.
Our research found that:
- Nearly 90% said being sent sexual images without consent was common or very common
- 84% had received messages, images or videos they did not want
- 73% had felt harassed by someone they matched with
- 63% felt pressured to send intimate images
- 64% felt pressured to meet in person before they were ready
“I stopped seeing it as abuse because it happened so often. It just became normal, even though it made me feel unsafe.”
People often described behaviour getting worse after they said no or set boundaries.
“When I said no, the tone immediately changed. That’s when the abuse started.”
Digital abuse does not need physical contact
Not everyone experienced abuse after meeting someone in person.
Many described serious harm that happened entirely online.
This included:
- repeated unwanted messages
- sexualised or threatening content
- pressure, control or manipulation
- stalking and harassment
- sharing or threatening to share intimate images
- pretending to be someone else
“Nothing physical happened, but it still affected everything, how I slept, how I trusted people, how safe I felt online.”
The research shows clearly that digital non‑contact abuse is real abuse, with impacts that can last long after the messages stop.
“People think it’s only serious if you meet in person but the impact starts long before that.”
Low reporting and limited support
Despite how common abuse was, many people did not report it or seek help.
Our research found that:
- Only just over half had ever reported behaviour to a dating app
- One third did not report it at all
- 13% wanted to report but didn’t know how
- Around 1 in 10 contacted the police
- Almost 60% did not know where to go for support
- Only 14.5% had contacted a specialist organisation
Many people felt they would not be believed, or that what happened was not “serious enough”.
“I didn’t report it because I thought I was overreacting. It didn’t feel ‘bad enough’ to count.”
Professionals see the harm, but systems have gaps
Professionals across many services said they are seeing more online‑dating‑related abuse.
However, many also said:
- it is not always clear whether their service can respond
- digital abuse is recorded differently (or not at all)
- online dating is often hidden in case notes rather than data
This means abuse can be difficult to track, understand and plan services around, leaving people without consistent support.
Safeguarding concerns for young people
The research also raised serious safeguarding concerns.
Despite age restrictions, 16–17‑year‑olds were found using dating platforms, with professionals reporting increasing exposure to sexualised and coercive behaviour.
These findings reflect wider risks across digital spaces and highlight the need for better protection, prevention and education.
Part of our wider work on Digital Non‑Contact Abuse
This research sits within First Light’s wider work on Digital Non‑Contact Abuse harm that happens across:
- dating apps
- social media and messaging platforms
- gaming and live‑chat spaces
- immersive technologies such as virtual reality (VR)
- emerging AI‑driven technologies
As digital spaces grow and change, they must be recognised as real places where abuse happens and addressed with the same seriousness as offline harm.
Working together to improve responses
In response to the findings, First Light is developing new collaborative work with professional services, commissioners and partners.
This work aims to:
- improve how digital abuse is identified
- support clearer definitions and shared understanding
- improve how abuse is recorded and tracked
- create clearer, joined‑up support pathways
We invite organisations across safeguarding, health, criminal justice, education and digital regulation to be part of this work.
Read the full research
📄 Download the full report: Abuse from Online Dating: The Invisible Issue
If you have experienced abuse through online dating or other digital platforms, First Light is here to help.
Visit our Support pages for confidential advice and support.
Thank you
We thank everyone who shared their experiences and expertise. Your voices have helped make visible an issue that is too often overlooked and will inform future policy, commissioning and service responses.
This research was funded by the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for Gloucestershire, recognising the urgent need to address harm in digital spaces.
