Survivors Voices Archives

First Light Stands with Harriet as She Shares Her Story

This includes references to child sexual abuse and may be difficult for some readers.

First Light stands in full support of Harriet, who has shared her story and encouraged others affected by sexual abuse to seek help.

In January, Winchester Crown Court convicted her sister of inciting a child family member to engage in sexual activity after Harriet detailed years of abuse she experienced as a young teenager. The judge issued a 15‑month suspended sentence and placed the offender on the Sex Offenders Register for ten years.

Harriet, who was just 13 when the abuse began, spoke powerfully in court about the long‑term impact of the trauma she endured and her determination to reclaim her future. Addressing her abuser directly, she said:

“This is no longer mine to carry.
This is your shame now.
This is your guilt now.
You must sit with what you did to your baby sister. I will leave here and rebuild my life. I will heal, and I will keep going for myself and for my son.
You, however, will live with this for the rest of your life. And the world will know the truth.”

First Light supported Harriet throughout her journey, along with Horizon Victim Support.

Rach Barr, First Light Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA) Service Manager, said:
“Harriet’s story is an important reminder that an abuser can be anyone, including people who are meant to protect us, people we trust and people we love. Harriet’s bravery in sharing her experience, and her powerful words, remind us that we may not always recognise abuse when it is happening, or we may be carrying the impact of abuse and not know where to turn. We want you to know that you are not alone. Support is available, and you will be believed and supported.”

Harriet also shared that reporting the abuse marked a turning point in her life, giving her the strength and safety to begin healing after years of trauma. She said:

“I want to give hope to others who have suffered similar abuse that you will be believed and listened to, and supported. You are not alone.”

You are not alone

At First Light Swindon and Wiltshire, we provide:

Trauma‑informed support for anyone affected by sexual violence or sexual abuse
• Specialist Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVA)
• Emotional and practical guidance throughout police and court processes
• A safe, confidential space to talk at your own pace
• Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) support

You will be believed.
You will be listened to.
You are not alone.

If you need support

If you have been affected by sexual violence, whether recently or in the past, our specialist teams are here for you. We are here to help you take the next step whenever you feel ready.

Daily Mail + (Requires subscription) How I was abused by my paedophile sister: At 13, Harriet was plied with drugs and made to perform grotesque incestuous acts. Now as her abuser is found guilty, she bravely tells her story and says: ‘I’ve got my life back’ | Daily Mail Online

Ben’s* Story

My name is Ben* and I am 16 years old.

My story started when I was 11, but honestly, it feels like it started way before that.

Back then, I didn’t really understand what was happening to me—I just knew that it felt wrong.

My cousin hurt me in ways I couldn’t explain, and when I finally told someone, everything changed.

When I first spoke to the police, I had to do something called a video interview.

It was scary, and I couldn’t say everything out loud.

Instead, I drew pictures to help explain what had happened.

Talking about it felt impossible, but my ISVA was there to help me.

She understood me, even when I couldn’t find the words.

For two years, my ISVA has been by my side.

She didn’t leave, even when the people in charge of the service changed.

She helped me with so many things—coping strategies, talking to my family, and making sure my school knew how to support me.

She even changed her working hours to be there for me when I needed her most.

The hardest part came last year when I found out I had to go to court.

For a long time, I was told that I wouldn’t have to.

Then, suddenly, I did.

I remember feeling so scared and confused.

I didn’t understand why this was happening, and it made everything worse.

My ISVA was the one who explained things to me.

She made sure I got to visit the court before the trial, so I knew what to expect.

She talked to my parents and my school, making sure I had all the support I needed.

When the trial started, I didn’t know if I could do it.

But my ISVA was there.

She sat with me, helped me take breaks when I needed them, and made sure people understood when I was struggling.

She fought for me when I couldn’t fight for myself.

Then, finally, the verdict came. He was found guilty.

I didn’t know how to feel—relieved, happy, scared—it was all mixed together.

But I wasn’t alone.

My ISVA was still there, helping me process everything and making sure I was okay.

Even though the trial is over, my ISVA is still supporting me while we wait for the sentencing.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I do know that I wouldn’t have gotten through any of this without her.

She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

She made sure my voice was heard when I couldn’t speak.

This journey has been hard, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

But having someone like my ISVA made all the difference.

She wasn’t just there for the court case—she was there for me.

*Based on true events, name and details changed to protect identity

Plymouth MARAC

Support in SWINDON for Young People and Adults (Over 16s)

Support in SWINDON for Children and Young People (Under 16s)

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Support in WILTSHIRE for Children and Young Poeple (Under 16s)

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Liv’s* Story – Young People’s Experiences

I used to think that being scared all the time was normal.

That’s just how life was.

I would lie awake at night, listening to the shouting downstairs, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst.

When I was younger, I tried to block it out. But as I got older, I felt like I had to be strong for Mum and my little sister.

I couldn’t show I was scared, even when I was.

Dad wasn’t always angry, but when he was, it was like a storm rolling in. Mum tried to keep things calm, but nothing ever seemed to be good enough. He controlled everything—what we could eat, where we could go, and even how much money Mum had.

And when he left, for a while, things were quiet.

But Mum still sent him money because she was scared of what he’d do if she didn’t.

I was scared too.

I didn’t say anything, but I knew he would come back.

And when he did, it was like the storm never really left.

When Mum finally got help, she contacted First Lights Safer Futures service.

I didn’t really know what to think.

People came to the house, asking questions and giving us things to keep us safe, like alarms.

They talked about moving, about being safe somewhere else.

It felt like too much.

I didn’t want to leave the only home I’d ever known, but at the same time, I didn’t want to stay.

Mum started going to meetings with her Domestic Abuse Support Advisor, learning how to say no to Dad.

And then, someone told me and my sister about the Safer Futures Reconnect program.

I didn’t want to go.

I didn’t want to talk about any of it.

What was the point?

Talking wouldn’t change anything.

I was just supposed to be strong, to protect Mum and my sister, not sit in a room with strangers and talk about feelings.

But I went anyway.

The first few times, I barely said a word.

But then, I started to realise that the other kids there understood.

They knew what it was like to feel small and helpless.

And the people running it—they listened.

Like, really listened.

They didn’t tell me to “be strong” or “man up.”

They just let me talk.

And little by little, I started to feel different. Lighter, maybe.

Things have changed a lot since we got support from First Light.

Dad doesn’t live with us anymore.

He can only see us in public, with someone else watching.

Mum doesn’t send him money, and he’s finally gotten a job.

Most importantly, Mum isn’t scared of him anymore.

And I’m not either.

I still have bad days.

Sometimes, I get scared without really knowing why.

But now, I know it’s okay to talk about it.

It’s okay to say when I feel uncomfortable.

I don’t have to hold everything inside.

For the first time in a long time, home feels safe.

And that’s something I never thought I’d be able to say.

*Based on true events, name and details changed to protect identity